TSU-HAN HWANG   黃楚涵
DIGITAL IMAGING    數位攝影
B&W DARKROOM    黑白暗房
ALTERNATIVE PROCESS    古典顯影
MIXED MEDIA    混合媒材

Click here to edit subtitle

Let's talk about Satoshi Kon


      今敏,一個天妒英才的動畫師,導演,以及漫畫家。相信大家都很清楚他的四部動畫長片:《藍色恐懼》,《千年女優》,《盜夢偵探》以及《東京教父》。在這裡我想分兩篇討論《藍色恐懼》以及《盜夢偵探》。


       在《藍色恐懼》中的未麻,她希望能拓展到演藝圈,卻做了一些違背本人意願的事,像是拍強暴戲。整部電影充滿了真實的自己和現實的自己互相拉扯所造成的壓迫感。


       什麼是真實?這是我想要的道路嗎?我明明已經如願地成為女演員,為什麼還是不快樂?為什麼我一直拒絕去面對真實的心聲?


       這部作品讓我聯想到“找自己”。我們在生活中,因為課業,家庭,人際關係和工作等等而為了別人付出了太多,所以漸漸的不和自己親近。有時看似覺得“我本來就是一個怎樣怎樣的人啊”,可是當遇到一些突發事件,才驚覺自己的反應不是跟想像的一樣。忙碌的生活中,自己漸漸地變成了一個陌生人了⋯⋯


      藉由自拍,我覺得我一點一滴地找回我自己了。


       《盜夢偵探》和超級歪對《全面啟動》的評論都讓我更了解什麼是諮商治療。雖然我不是心理諮商或臨床心理的專家,但這部作品以及之前跟諮商師對談,我覺得要突破現在沒辦法突破的心魔,必須要有人帶領我並且用敘述的方式再經歷一次,並且正式的告別,心魔才會被釋放出來。因為一直不承認自己最不喜歡的地方,等於是否定自己的一部份,久而久之,那個地方就會變成自己的黑暗面,把自己逼瘋⋯⋯


       我的《走出,憂鬱》系列也是從這部片得到靈感的。人經歷過死亡,才能體會到重生的可貴和感動。


Satoshi Kon, a Japanese great animation film-maker, director, and comic author, died by 46. I believe that most of people know his remarkable films: <<Perfect Blue>>, <<Millennium Actress>>, <<Paprika>>, and <<Tokyo Godfathers>>.


In <<Perfect Blue>>, Mima, who was a singer in her band, decides to develop herself in entertainment circles. However, she is forced to do something that is against her willing. For example, she has to play in a rape scene. The tension between the real her and the true her is filled in the whole movie.


What's the truth of me? Is it the road that I really want? I became an actress that I used to dream about, but why am I so unhappy? Why do I oppose to listen to my heart?

This film gives me an idea of "finding myself". In my life, I spend plenty of time in education, family, relationships, and work. I realize that I give myself too much to other people but not to me. As a result, I'm not familiar with myself anymore. Sometimes I think I'm this xxx kind of person, but when something happens to me, I find that what I react is not what I predict. In these busy days, I'm becoming a stranger to me......


By taking self-portraits, I start to find myself again......


After watching <<Paprika>> and <<Interception>>, I understand more about consultation therapy. Despite I'm not an expert in psychology, but from this film and the experience of talking with my counselor, I understand that if I need to break my nightmare, I have to find someone to guide me to describe my past. By expressing myself, I undergo again my past and say goodbye to it, and I find that I release my nightmare. Because if I kept denying my dark past, it would have become my dark side with anger, hatred, and empty. And if I remain it for a very long time, the dark side will swallow me......


I got my inspiration of <<Transcendence of Self>> from this movie. After I undergo my death, I realize that to be reborn is priceless......